Once a mother ,forever a mother ...Very true....but Once a father , forever a father!!! A big No!! Atleast not for me. It's been 4 years of our marriage and I am viewer of transformations like late night romantic candle night dinners to "ghar par hi kuch bana lo naa plz " throngs( even when I m not so well),long drives in monsoon to "arey bachche ke saath pareshaan ho jaate hain baahar", Coffee in CCD to "chai aur banaa do plz ek" and so on...Goes on...
Change is beautiful but not this one. Our son has changed our lives in every aspect. He is the one who taught me so many things in past one year and I am still his student , why Motherhood is called the most blessed phase of life,he made me realised that. I never regret leaving up my career for him because the salary in form of such a pure and unconditional love from him is worth and compensating;more than expectations. But is this the case with our Mans too?? I Doubt!!!
Why I intended to write over this have been inspired rather I would say from my own sufferings and experiences.
It's not been once,several times I realise being mum I silently skip over significant things from my daily doings adhered to fitness,hobby, daily chores or nothing but a Me time , while nurturing baby in some way or other but It didn't seem to have much affected Papa's life.
Weaning process is undergoing now a days and it's really becoming a tedious task to do especially during nights. It's not so easy as read or heard by others. Tapping down his back for 2 hours after taking him on shoulders for nearly half an hour and continuously humming around ,must not be so easy task down. Expecting husband to take baby for few minutes after his 9 hours service to boss including traffic fatigue,is just like asking for water in desert. Even if you dare,you would be served with all the office tantrums they gone through out the day and how I can't understand that just because I stay at home living all luxuries and facilities. Hence, tapping is more easy.
There are many cases where I missed the opportunities to attend social gatherings ,events,functions,dance practices,women parties just because either the time is not suitable or kids are not allowed there for some reason. But we people never regret that and accept the fact that everyone suffers this phase and after all opportunities never ends. But the joy of having this if your spouse support you,works as a cherry on the top of cake. It's in these ways perhaps when you become a parent from a mother or father.
Another one,Weekends gave me opportunity to take some classes for competitive exams in a coaching centre near by. I approved for the proposal because my husband has weekends off and It would be beneficial for me too in future to be in touch with my subjects and scope of self grooming too would improvise. It was my first class that day.I almost finished up at right time and my husband called me up that he would be dropping our son to some relatives house( who stays in our society) as he had to attend a sudden get together which their college friends has planned somewhere. I would have told Him not to do so if he would have given chance me to speak at least. When I tried to Grimm over him for his act in the evening ,when he returned,his words shut my mouth and my mind that day..."Arey mjhe bhi to thoda time chahye naa khud ke liye...Thoda saa free hua aur tum Kush ko mere paas chhod gayi"....
I couldn't answer his question...Rather I didn't wanted to. Whether This was fight for "Me time " or this is a sedimented mind set of males in our society that we have been crowned for" looking after baby task" whatever be the condition is and can never put back this at second priority (though they might do it)....They work,they earn,they have been sitting on the chair of thorns in office bearing many pressures,they take care of financial needs of their family,they hear their mother's pain of bringing an inappropriate bahu to the family and so many responsibilities they handle. How can I ask him for just a 2 hours a week for myself. How can he compromise with his sleep to make me comfortable and easy. Isn't he is earning and fulfilling all our dreams, materialistic dreams ,,enough for us to be happy and cheerful . Why should he prepare a lunch for me on Sundays to make me feel special.,it's his holiday after all. Why should he take care of baby whole day on Sunday ,after all he is too tired to do so after working 5 days so fiercely. And finally what would I do If he would look after baby????
This is true incident from which my friend is suffering these days. Her call in morning made me pen down her emotions in this write up. Hope many of you could relate and all husbands who don't realise what their small lovable actions could bring sanctity to a relation may also change their perspective after having a read.
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