No Point Carrying Emotional Baggage

Living in the past, holding onto grudges, and not letting go of anger can seriously affect people’s lives and overall happiness.  I believe it is so important we model forgiveness to our children so they can be free of negativity and blame.  Imagine how powerful it would be to learn to forgive (in a deep and meaningful way) from the early years of life… what a great pattern to get into for the long run!

For this activity I found a physical example to show what it looks like when we do not forgive and how the lack of forgiveness hinders our daily life.  We then used the example to describe why we should forgive, so that we are not held back.

First I presented the boys with a trolley and a box of blocks.  Then I asked them to think of things that made them mad or sad or frustrated, and then put a block in the trolley for each one.  It was actually very interesting to hear what they came up with… such as not being allowed to buy specific toys and not being allowed to watch movies.  I can imagine with older children it may bring out some interesting topics that would otherwise be left to silence.  I also added some examples such as when someone knocks something you are building accidentally, when someone at the playground pushes you or shouts at you, etc.

Then I invited the boys to take turns walking around the house with the trolley and afterwards asked them what it was like.  They said it was hard, they kept on bumping into stuff, and couldn’t go very fast.  I pointed out that my two-year-old actually had to walk backwards to pull the trolley so he could only see what was behind him while going around the house (interesting metaphor for only focusing on the past instead of living in the present for us parents to think about).

Then I explained that not forgiving and carrying around anger is like hauling around an extra bag all day, carrying stuff that is weighing us down and slowing us on our journey.  When we forgive, we let go of the emotional baggage that can keep us back.  Forgiveness frees our hearts and minds, and lets us live in peace.  When we forgive, we can leave the whole trolley behind!

Note: I also added how forgiving does not mean we do not work through our feelings (it’s okay to cry!), or let people be unkind or unfair to us.  However forgiveness lets us work through situations without negativity overtaking our emotions.

Do you model forgiveness to your children?  Do they know what can happen after someone says, “I’m sorry”?

2 Minutes Summer Recipes For Kids From Sanjeev Kapoor's Kitchen

                             1. Fruit Cream

 INGREDIENTS

cup well whipped cream

½ cup sour cream

¼ cup sugar

1 well peeled and sliced mango

1 well sliced orange

½ cup sliced pineapple

¼ cup sliced strawberries

¼ cup sliced grapes

½ cup sliced banana

1 tbs crushed walnut

1 tbs chopped almonds

2 sliced strawberries for garnish.

METHOD-

In a bowl, add the cream and the sliced fruits and nuts. Mix this well. Make sure not to tear through the slices. Use the extra strawberry slices for garnish. Serve cold.

                    

                   2. Fruits With Yoghurt

INGREDIENTS

Red apple- 1 medium

Green apple- 1 medium

Pineapple- ¼

Dried apricots- 3-4

Prunes- ½

Pears- 5-6

Hung curd- 1 ½

Honey- 1 tbsp

Biscuits- 8- 10

Strawberry crush- 1 tbsp

Prunes- to garnish

Strawberry crush- to garnish

Dried apricot- to garnish

METHOD 

Cut all the fruits like red apple, green apple, pineapple, dried apricots, prunes and pears in a bowl and keep a side In another bowl take hung curd and honey, mix with half of the fruits, leave half portion of fruits in the same bowl Take another bowl, put crushed biscuits and strawberry crushed in it, Put a layer of half of the fruits, followed by the fruits mix with curd dressing Season with strawberry crush prunes and apricots, and serve.

                                          

                            3.  Mango Salsa

INGREDIENTS

2 mangoes - pared, seeded, and sliced

1 large tomato, cubed

1 small onion, pounded

1 small jalapeno pepper, minced and seeded

Minced fresh cilantro, 1 tablespoon

1 lemon,

juiced Ground black pepper

 salt to taste.

METHOD

In a mixing bowl, add lime juice, cilantro, jalapeno pepper, onion, tomato and mango and blend well. Zest it with black pepper and salt. 

                                        

          

                                   4. Citrus Cup

INGREDIENTS

2tbsp pineapple juice

2tbsp orange juice

2tbsp lime juice

A dash of grenadine syrup

Crushed ice (use the blender for crushing the ice)

Soda to fill ( Not Essential)

METHOD-

This is extremely simple. Take the juices and the syrup into a bottle and shake them really well. Fill the glass with the crushed ice and add the shaken juices. To this add some soda water for that extra fizz. Serve chilled.

                                    

                                               5. Almond Smoothie

INGREDIENTS

Coconut water: - 1 Cup

Flaked coconut: - 2 tbsp

Almond milk: - 1/2 Cup

Coconut extract: - 1/2 tsp

Cocoa nibs: - 1/2 tbsp

Chocolate whey powder: - 1 Scoop

Ice cubes.

METHOD

In a blender, add the liquid ingredients followed by dry ingredients and ice. Blend this mix for a few seconds. Blend it till its smooth in texture. Pour in glasses and serve.

                                           

मैं अपने से नीचे लड़के से शादी नहीं करूंगी !!

                                            

शर्मा जी का बेटा M.A पास था। जैसे तैसे उसकी सरकारी नौकरी का जुगाड़ भी कर दिया था अपने दूर के रिश्तेदार को कहलवा कर। अनुज( उनका लड़का) मध्यम कद काठी का सामान्य बुद्धि का लड़का था। चूंकि शर्मा जी के लड़के की नौकरी का जुगाड़ हो चला था तो वो बहु ढूंढने के मिशन पर लग गए। 

रोज़ अलग अलग लड़कीवालों के यहां जाते और चाय नाश्ते के लुत्फ़ उठा कर आ जाते। उनके Parameter पर खरा उतरने वाले लड़की मिल ही नहीं रही थी या यूं कह लो उनके खुले मुँह में दहेज का लड्डू डाल सके ऐसा कोई परिवार नहीं मिल रहा था।

आखिर उनकी तलाश खत्म हुई। गुप्ता जी  की लड़की ,सीमा ,उन्हें पसंद आ गयी। अनुज को भी सीमा पसंद थी। गुप्ता जी इनकम टैक्स विभाग में आला अधिकारी थे और पत्नी फर्स्ट ग्रेड अध्यापिका। दोनो पति पत्नी के सरकारी नौकरी में होने से घर में हो रही पैसो की अच्छी आवक का अनुमान शर्मा जी ने लगा लिया था। सीमा बहुत सुंदर , शालीन और सुलझी हुई लड़की थी। वो भी पोस्ट ग्रेजुएट थी और किसी परीक्षा की तैयारी कर रही थी। लेन देन की बात पहले ही हो गयी थी और बहुत बार्गेनिंग के बाद 15 लाख रुपये तय किये गए। बाकी का खर्चा अलग। 

दोनो पक्षों में शादी की तैयारियां होने लगी। तभी एक दिन शर्मा जी का फ़ोन आया। 

" जी गुप्ता जी,आज का अखबार तो पढ़ा ही होगा आपने। IAS का रिजल्ट आया है। अपने अनुज का डिप्टी कलेक्टर पद पर चयन हुआ है। आपकी पुत्री के कदम बहुत शुभ पड़े हैं। आपसे मिल कर कुछ लेन देन की बात करनी थी। यूँ तो घर की ही बात है पर थोड़ा स्पष्ट कहना चाहूंगा। पहले बात और थी ,आपकी बेटी अब एक उच्च सरकारी अफसर की बीवी बनने जा रही है तो "Standard of Living" भी उसी तरह का होना चाहये। हालांकि हमें कुछ नहीं चाहये पर  ऐसे अगर देखा जाए तो अनुज के लिए 40-50 लाख तक तो कोई भी देने को तैयार हो जाएगा फिर आप तो खुद बहुत बड़े अफसर हैं। जी,आप समझ रहे हैं ना मैं क्या कहना चाह रहा हूँ। अभी शादी हुई नहीं है और लड़कियों की कहां कमी है। जी सीमा बिटिया को प्यार देना। रखता हूँ।"

गुप्ता जी ने बिना कुछ कहे ही फ़ोन रख दिया। आज समाज के सयानों की तस्वीर उनके सामने आ चुकी थी। शादी एक डील की तरह हो गयी थी जहां लड़के की कीमत उसके ओहदे के साथ बढ़ती जाती है। किसी परिवार से रिश्ता जोड़ने की कीमत उस घर से आने वाले दहेज से नापी जाती है। वनिस्पत इस सोच के की एक अच्छी सी घर सम्भाल सकने वाली लड़की होनी चाहिए , वो क्या और कितना अपने साथ लाती है इस मापदंड पर होने वाली शादी का आंकलन किया जाता है। 

अगले दिन गुप्ता जी ने शर्मा जी को एक पत्र लिखा। 

" आदरणीय शर्मा जी, अनुज बेटे को बहुत बहुत बधाई और साथ साथ आपको भी। मुझे लगा मैं अपनी बेटी को शादी करवा के वहां भेज रहा हूँ जहां उसके गुणों का मोल होगा उसके साथ आने वाले पैसों का नहीं। एक और नई बात समझ आयी कि हमारे समाज में लड़के Prize Tag के साथ आते हैं जिनकी कीमत उनके ओहदे के साथ बढ़ती जाती है। माफ़ कीजियेगा मैं सीमा के लिए जीवनसाथी और प्यार देने वाला परिवार ढूंढ रहा हूँ, जो उसके गुणों की कद्र करे और उसे पूरे मन से अपनाये। मेरी बेटी कोई पॉलिसी नहीं है जिसे आपको देकर में जीवन भर उसकी ख़ुशी का प्रीमियम भरता रहूं आपको दहेज चुकाकर। और हां एक खुशखबर आपको भी देनी थी,अपनी सीमा का भी चयन हुआ है, कलेक्टर  के पद पर। और उसने निर्णय किया है वो अपने अधीनस्थ अधिकारी से विवाह नहीं करेगी। आपका समय लिया इसका खेद है।"

5 Super Delicious Quick Breakfast Recipes

1.  Chatpata Dahiwala Bread 

                                                     

Ingredients

5 bread slices , cut into cubes
1/2 cup curds (dahi)
1/4 tsp turmeric powder (haldi)
1/2 tsp chilli powder
salt to taste
1/2 tsp cumin seeds (jeera)
1/4 tsp asafoetida (hing)
3 to 4 curry leaves (kadi patta)
1/2 tsp grated ginger (adrak)
1/4 cup thinly sliced onions
2 tbsp oil

Method 

1. Combine the curds, turmeric powder, chilli powder and salt along with 2 tbsp of water in a bowl and mix well.
2. Add the bread cubes and mix till the bread is coated with the curds mixture. Keep aside.
3. Heat the oil in a broad non-stick pan and add the cumin seeds.
4. When the seeds crackle, add the asafoetida, curry leaves and ginger and sauté on medium flame for a few seconds.
5. Add the onion slices and saute on a medium flame for 1 to 2 minutes or till they are lightly brown in colour.
6. Add the bread mixture and sauté on a slow flame for 1 to 2 minutes or till the bread turns light brown in colour, while stirring occasionally.
7. Serve hot garnished with coriander.

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Vermicelli Upma

Ingredients

2 cups wheat vermicelli
2 tbsp coconut oil or any other refined oil
salt to taste
1 tsp mustard seeds ( rai / sarson)
2 tsp urad dal (split black lentils)
6 to 7 curry leaves (kadi patta)
1/4 cup finely chopped onions
1 1/2 tsp finely chopped green chillies
1/3 cup freshly grated coconut
1/4 cup chopped coriander (dhania)
1/2 lemon

Method 

1. Boil 2 cups of water in a deep pan.
2. Remove from the flame, add the vermicelli, ½ tsp of oil and little salt, cover and keep aside for about 5 minutes or till the vermicelli is soft. Drain and keep aside.
3. Heat the remaining 1½ tsp of oil in a kadhai and add the mustard seeds and urad dal.
4. When the mustard seeds crackle, add the onions and green chillies and sauté on a medium flame till the onions turn translucent, while stirirng continously.
5. Add the vermicelli, coconut, coriander, lemon juice and little more salt if required, mix well and cook over a medium flame for another 2 to 3 minutes, while stirring gently. Serve immediately.

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Peanut Pakoda/ Singhdana Bhajiya

Ingredients

3/4 cup roasted and crushed peanuts
3/4 cup besan (bengal gram flour)
1/2 cup whole wheat flour (gehun ka atta)
3/4 cup shredded spinach (palak)
1 tbsp warm oil
1 1/2 tbsp finely chopped green chillies
1 tbsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp chilli powder
1/4 tsp garam masala
salt to taste
oil for deep frying

Method 

1. Combine all the ingredients along with approx. ½ cup of water in a deep bowl and mix well.
2. Heat the oil in a deep non-stick pan, drop small spoonful of batter in the oil few at a time, and deep fry till they turn golden brown in colour. Drain on an absorbent paper. 
3. Serve immediately with green chutney and sweet chutney.

Palak  Methi Muthiya 

Ingredients

3 cups chopped spinach (palak)
1 1/2 cups finely chopped fenugreek (methi) leaves
1/4 cup whole wheat flour (gehun ka atta)
1/4 cup soya flour
2 tbsp semolina (rava)
1 tsp sugar
2 tsp green chilli paste
1/2 tsp chilli powder
2 tsp coriander-cumin seeds (dhania-jeera) powder
1/4 tsp turmeric powder (haldi)
1/4 tsp asafoetida (hing)
2 tsp oil
1/2 tbsp lemon juice
salt to taste

For The Tempering1 tsp oil
1/2 tsp mustard seeds ( rai / sarson)
1/2 tsp sesame seeds (til)
a pinch of asafoetida (hing)

For Servingnutritious green chutney

Method 

1. Combine all the ingredients in a deep bowl and mix well to make a soft dough using very little water.
2. Divide the mixture into 3 equal portions and shape each portion into approximately 125 mm. (5”) length and 25 mm (1”) in diameter cylindrical roll.
3. Arrange the rolls on a sieve and steam in a steamer for 10 minutes or till a knife inserted into the muthia comes out clean.
4. Remove, cool slightly and cut into 25 mm. (1 “) slices. Keep aside.
5. For the tempering, heat the oil in a non-stick kadhai and add the mustard seeds.
6. When the seeds crackle, add the sesame seeds and asafoetida and sauté on a medium flame for a few seconds.
7. Add the muthia pieces and sauté on a medium flame for 1 to 2 minutes or till they turn light brown in colour. Keep aside to cool slightly.

                   Moong Dal and Paneer Phudina Chila

                    
Ingredients

1/2 cup yellow moong dal (split yellow gram) , soaked for 4 hours
1/2 tsp ginger-green chilli paste
1/4 tsp asafoetida (hing)
1/2 tsp sugar
salt to taste

To Be Mixed Into A Topping1/2 cup crumbled paneer (cottage cheese)
1/4 cup finely chopped mint leaves (phudina)
1/2 tsp finely chopped green chillies
1/2 tsp chaat masala
salt to taste

Other Ingredientsoil for greasing and cooking

Method 

1. Divide the topping into 4 equal portions and keep aside.
2. Drain the soaked moong dal, add ½ cup of water and blend in a mixer till smooth.
3. Transfer the mixture into a bowl, add the ginger-green chilli paste, asafoetida, sugar and salt and mix well.
4. Divide the batter into 4 equal portions and keep aside.
5. Heat a non-stick tava (griddle), grease with a little oil, pour a portion of the batter on the tava and spread it evenly to make a 125 mm. (5") diameter round.
6. Spread a portion of the topping evenly over it and press it gently so the topping sticks to the chila.
7. Cook, using a little oil, till it turns golden brown in colour from both the sides.
8. Repeat steps 5 to 7 to make 3 more chilas.

Serve immediately with green chutney and tomato ketchup

Onion, Tomato and Cheese Open Toast

              

Ingredients

8 bread slices
butter for spreading

To Be Mixed Into A Topping1/2 cup chopped onions
1/2 cup chopped tomatoes
1/4 cup grated processed cheese
2 tbsp butter
2 tsp milk
1 tsp finely chopped green chillies
salt to taste

For Servingtomato ketchup

Method 

1. Divide the topping into 8 equal portions and keep aside.
2. Place the bread slices on a clean, dry surface and spread them lightly with little butter.
3. Place all the bread slices on a greased baking tray with buttered sides facing upwards and bake in a pre-heated oven at 180°c (360°f) for 4 to 5 minutes.
4. Spread a portion of the topping evenly on each baked bread slice and again bake in a pre-heated oven at 180°c (360°f) for 4 to 5 minutes.

They can be also prepared in Broad Non stick pan.